Monday, April 20, 2015

Cathartic

As you should know, I am an English major and an aspiring professor, yet, I've found myself whenever stuck in a pickle, gravitated towards a pen. As I laid in bed with the worst physical and emotional heartache I have ever experienced, I picked up a pen and wrote, indeed. I'm not a good creative writer, but I find in times of heartache, writing is the best cure for me. This short story took me a few hours to compile and it's quite rough, but it was the most cathartic thing I've ever done, so I'm proud I got through it even. As soon as I finished, the crying was gone. Now, ultimately, the tears always return, but writing this kind of finalized everything for me in a way. Finding love at such a young age can be both a blessing and a curse. You experience such little heartache beforehand, but you're so young, naive and have no idea what you want, yet, and sometimes because of that, you stray and make mistakes. I wrote this a few weeks ago and just wanted to share it because of how proud I am of myself that I even got through this. I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

UPDATE: To clarify my posts and my life in general I guess, I would like to share with you all that I got back with my ex-boyfriend R because I realized that I still loved him. When I ended things with him, it was due to conflicting schedules and perspective schools. I never stopped loving him, but I felt like we needed to break apart in that moment and after all of the drama our breakup caused initially, I was too proud to admit that I still wanted him. It took me months to admit it to myself even because I was too angry and too proud. Also, I was trying to make another relationship work that I just knew was not working out at all. "Never a good idea" or "Nothing good ever comes from getting back with an ex," my friends advise me now, because I was too afraid to say anything before while it was still happening. Nothing good came out indeed, but I'm still glad it happened. I know now that it all happened for the better and that the man I once loved is now gone and just a stranger again, but how many people get to say that they got a chance to fix their mistake and redeem themselves in love? Not many, and for that reason alone, I am happy.


Poor Girl

Here’s the story of a girl whom 17 years of age, took a class and met a boy and wanted him to stay. She tried to deny the connection, dismissing him as just another boy, but then he asked her on a date… To school, of course! Why else the case?

At a college by the sea, she could see that something was happening, indeed. So, she asked him on a journey to a world of doodles and magical lamps, but instead he brought her to a world of something else, something completely invisible to the eye. It struck the heart and felt like “like,” but how to tell? She did not know. All she knew was that she never felt more alive than being at his side, so with the help of a friendly giant, they started to connive. With a short trip, the giant did his tricks and discovered he liked her back. Filled with delight, she danced all the way home, finally feeling like light.

The girl and the boy returned to the sea, where she grabbed his hand and he did not flee. They were so excited that they could not sleep, often waking up at night just to talk again and to find the other still counting sheep. Their love was like lightning in the sky. It hit so quick that it left even the lovers amazed at how fast and bright it hit. Some couples grow together, just to find out that they have strayed, but as the girl and boy grew, they wanted nothing more than to stay. They spent every minute together, never growing old of each other. Together, they became one, moving fast in wonderland, but wonderland the girl stayed in, wondering too long, she wanted future plans.

After a year, the girl made a foolish mistake. Instead of treasuring the boy who made every effort to stay, she strayed. Mistaking mundane things such as social media, school and parents as great, she found she was missing these things with the boy and decided to go away.

She got a new lover, who gave her these things. He showed her his parents and his world and promised to stay, even if ultimately, a new school would get in the way. She’s supposed to be happy, right? But, happy, she was not. These things are all a fa├žade! Parents, school, money and time; it’s all fake fake fake! What makes happiness stay is pure love; why did she ever change her faith?! The soul is what makes the bond so great. 

            When the girl realized her mistake, she made her way back to the boy, hoping he would forgive her and that love would take place. However, she waited too long, made too many mistakes. In the months apart, she realized she could not live without the boy, but the boy realized his life was just the same, actually, he was happier and made better friends along the way… Did this love even exist? Did anyone see? Like lightning in the sky, it was so fleet, did the lovers even still believe?

Boo hoo, poor girl. You made your mistake. Is the world here to pity you? Hell, no way. Some people never get to experience love the way you did. You got your taste and made it waste! Here is the consequence: He’s over you; this is now your fate.

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