Tuesday, September 16, 2014

On Jealousy and Love

It's not a surprise when you hear that love is freakin hard! I mean relationships are nasty and dirty and complicated. Even when both parties try so hard, jealousy somehow finds a way to disease you. Personally for me, I'm someone really affectionate and I like to express it! However, my lips are sealed shut when it comes to feelings. Jealousy in love comes in many forms like "why aren't you more affectionate!?", "why are you meeting up with him/her instead of me?", "why did you like your ex's picture?", "why didn't you do that for me?", "you think she's that pretty, huh?" or "why don't you pay more attention to me?!?!" All of which I am guilty of feeling or saying (especially that last one hehe), but hey, I'm only human. 

Jealousy has the nastiest effects though. For example, revenge. Like Avatar Aang says, "Revenge is like a two-headed rat-viper; while you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself" (And yes, I did just quote a cartoon character and why? Because he's the coolest and wisest. Duhhh). 

Habitually from my past, whenever I felt jealous or vengeful I tended to just pull away and stay quiet, or my favorite: flirt with other guys. All of which solves absolutely nothing at all and creates a storm load of more issues later. Sure, it feels satisfactory in the moment, but 5 minutes later you're left feeling worse, more angry and lonely once again. Today however, I try hard not to let jealousy get the best of me, which means not pulling away from the person I love, not causing arguments, not bringing up the past/the ex/that pretty girl if I don't have to, etc. I know that jealousy stems from love, but it's so ironic and hilarious because these arguments and ugly feelings that are stemming from love actually just pulls us further away from the person whom we love and from love in general. That girl/boy you're so jealous of could actually be super awesome and could have been a life-time friend, but you'll never know now cause you were too busy hating. 

So, closing it back in, moral of my rant is: I'm working hard to check up on myself and to improve my communication skills everyday because why let the stupid and transitory things get you down when there is so much potential beauty and fun within the person whom you love more than anything.

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